LEO’S DIARY, September 4th

I ditched math class today. Again. Don’t tell Miles. He’ll tell me about “future consequences” and “responsibilities” like I’m five. He just doesn’t get it. I’ve got better things to do than listen to Mr. Cartwright talk about algebra like it’s going to save my life.

I went to the lake instead. Skipped stones, blasted music, and then i thought about buzzing my hair off. Should I? I dunno.

I wish Miles could’ve come. He never does. Says he’s “too busy.” What he means is “too afraid to be alive.”

MILES’ JOURNAL, September 5th

Leo missed class again. Third time this week. I covered for him when Mrs. Daniels asked, but I don’t know why I still do that. He doesn’t care. About school. About anything, really. I don’t get how someone can coast through life like that and still sleep at night.

My parents keep telling me to “choose better friends.” I know what they’re saying: that Leo’s a bad influence. And maybe he is. But he’s also been my best friend since third grade, when I couldn’t talk to anyone and he punched a bully in the face for calling me weird. Still… I hate how I feel now. Like I’m embarrassed just being seen next to him.

I wish he’d grow up. Or at least meet me halfway.

LEO’S DIARY, September 9th

Saw Miles at lunch today, sitting alone with his little planner out, scribbling notes like he’s writing the Constitution. I waved. He didn’t wave back. Just nodded. You ever get that feeling someone’s drifting away from you and you’re not even sure when it started? Yeah.

I don’t blame him. I wouldn’t wanna be around me either.

Things at home are… loud again. Mom’s not back from wherever she goes when she says she’s “working late.” Dad threw a plate last night. At the wall. Said he was just mad and then he apologized to me and my sister for scaring us.

I didnt like that, i dunno why I did it, but I said something like: “I usually dont throw plates at the wall when im mad. But thanks for the apology. Frank.” and he FREAKED. He told me I couldnt sleep at home tonight. So I texted Miles if i could stay at his house, he said no. So I slept out at the creek for the night. Lot of spiders. ALOT.

I dont really like Miles at the moment.

MILES’ JOURNAL, September 10th

Leo’s pulling that thing that thing where he texts me at 2am asking if he can sleep over. So, I said no. Because im not covering for him anymore. Im so done.

I invited him to study with me tonight, Cause I kinda felt bad for saying no. He said he’d “probably show up,” which means he won’t. He never does. He’ll flake and then laugh it off tomorrow like it’s some big joke.

It’s not funny to me.

LEO’S DIARY, September 10th (later)

Didn’t go to Miles’. Couldn’t. Not when Dad was yelling like that. I sat in the bathroom with my sister and my headphones in, water running. Miles wouldn’t understand. His mom makes cookies from scratch. His dad gives him college brochures for fun.

I bet he thinks I’m lazy. Stupid. Maybe I am.

Im getting sick of the way he talks to me.

MILES’ JOURNAL, September 14th

Today Leo got into a fight, with this kid Micheal. I asked him why, and he said Micheal “was talking trash about you” or something like that. Leo has to understand at some point. I dont care

I didnt need him to punch Micheal like that. And it doesnt make me thankful he did that. He couldve just told him to stop. like a normal person. but he didnt.

And.. I guess I got a bit too mad at him when I found out he got suspended for it. I said I was worried about his future. but im.. not? Its been.. kinda.. peaceful ever since hes been gone. He always wants to hangout with me though. I dont wanna hang out with him. He needs to go hangout with his other friends that are just as.. trashy as he is.

LEO’S DIARY, September 14th (later)

Miles looked at me today like I was a stranger.

I don’t think he sees me at all anymore.

So I started hanging out with Benny. I guess. I dont know why Miles doesnt wanna hangout with me anymore. He doesnt even sit with me at lunch.

MILES’ JOURNAL, September 20th

We don’t talk much now. And when we do, it feels.. awkward.

He started hanging out with Benson. I wish I knew why he’s doing this. But maybe he doesn’t even know. Maybe he doesn’t care

Maybe I’m the only one who still does?

LEO’S DIARY, September 20th

Miles used to be my guy. Now I don’t think he wants to be around me. I get it. Who’d want a mess for a friend? I wish he knew I’m not doing all this to annoy him.

He thinks I’m selfish. Or something.

MILES’ JOURNAL, September 25th

Leo doesnt talk to me anymore. I saw his arm, all bruised. Probably from his little skateboarding phase hes going through. Usually if he got a bruise from skateboarding; all he would talk about for like, days would be how “badass” it was.

Maybe he talked about it with Benson. I hate that kid

LEO’S DIARY, September 25th

Miles saw. I know he did.

But he didn’t say anything

Now I definitly wont talk to him. What will I say if he asks me why? I dont have any cover for the bruises. I told Benny that I fell on pavement and it ripped my skin off. So.. not believable. Ive known Miles for so long, he always knows when I lie. So I wont talk to him. For atleast a couple months. Maybe i wont talk to him ever again.