Chaos shouldn’t exist

Think about the most chaotic things in your life

Traffic

Weather

Children/family members

Crowds

Sudden power outage

Work

All of these things are/have systems designed to limit the amount of chaos we encounter. Yet we continuously run into it. In a single day this chain of events can happen:

A sudden power outage while we get ready for work causes our child’s breakfast to not cook. The child gets upset and throws a tantrum. We get upset, feeling disrespected and the need to punish the child. In doing so, the child is out of routine and doesn’t get ready for school. We now have to help them get ready for school in the dark and rush out of the house.

We left slightly later than usual and encounter some traffic because the train was behind schedule or a light at a major intersection malfunctioned. We speed around to bring the kid to school and park at work about 20 minutes late. While going to walk to work we have to navigate a large crowd as the building next door is hosting a major outdoor event. We push our way through and one person shouts at us just as we were about to make it through. We turn around and shout back, causing a scene before we finally make it to the front door to enter the office.

Finally, we are at work. There’s order here!! We can be happy!! Except the CEO who wasn’t supposed to get here until tomorrow is here today and your presentation is not in the office. The woman who works in the office next to yours also experienced the power outage so her spreadsheet isn’t ready for you yet. You nervously tap your fingers as you watch the clock, calculating how far behind you are. Finally your lunch break comes around to save you. Something you can control before your presentation!

You leave to go to your favorite lunch place for a to-go order before you run home to grab pieces for your presentation. It’s been thunderstorm-ing (the forecast called for a chance of a slight shower) since 10am. The restaurant you love is closed due to an unexpected boil advisory. Not seeing the sign you still walked up to the door and now your clothes are soaked. You sigh in frustration before driving home to make a sandwich and grab your presentation.

You push through to give a mediocre presentation. You explain that today has been frustrating. Some colleagues are understanding and give you a pat on the back before exiting the meeting room. Your CEO and manager are silent but obviously displeased.

This sounds like a terrible day where everything was out of our control. The power, a tantrum, an event we didn’t know about, a sudden change of plans, the weather, etc.

We only acknowledge our lack of control when things start to go wrong; when things aren’t our fault. It could’ve been a nice day, our child did something very thoughtful or done well in school, the unknown event could’ve been something we enjoyed, the change of plans could’ve given us more time, and we would’ve been ecstatic.

If it’s chaos that makes us unhappy both of the aforementioned scenarios should make us miserable. Both are full of unexpected events and consequences that couldn’t have been predicted. What makes us unhappy is our unwillingness to accept that everything is chaos, and our need to identify something as good or bad as soon as it happens. Had we accepted the power outage and subsequent tantrum as the undeniable present, we could have better adjusted to it. Calmly explain that these things happen no matter what we do and we have to make do sometimes. Let’s figure out what you want to eat or we’ll stop somewhere special on the way to school. Every situation presents an opportunity to be made into something. We should enjoy using our minds to figure things out! If there are no problems to figure out, the mind is unenjoyable! But we defined the power outage as negative when we could’ve let it be what it is and find something within it that’s positive.