It won’t go away.

The illusion that people could just be…

**GONE**

all of the sudden.

The thoughts won’t go away.

What if my mom was gone?

What if my dad was gone?

What if any of my brothers were gone?

What if my dogs were gone?

_What if _**_I _**_was gone…_

By gone I don’t mean

_“just didn’t ever exist”_

I mean…

**Dead**_._

These thoughts,

these illusions,

playing through my head.

Every day.

Every morning.

Every night.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

I’m scared my mom will overwork herself.

**_For us._**

I’ve been thinking of life _without_ out her _too_ much.

Last time this happened it was with my dog,

who’s currently dead…

I kept thinking of life without him and what would happen if he died.

_Then it actually happened._

Don’t leave me mom.

I need you.

We all need you.

You light up so many lives.__

_I love you _❤️