It won’t go away.

The illusion that people could just be…

GONE

all of the sudden.

The thoughts won’t go away.

What if my mom was gone?

What if my dad was gone?

What if any of my brothers were gone?

What if my dogs were gone?

What if I was gone…

By gone I don’t mean

“just didn’t ever exist”

I mean…

Dead.

These thoughts,

these illusions,

playing through my head.

Every day.

Every morning.

Every night.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

I’m scared my mom will overwork herself.

For us.

I’ve been thinking of life without out her too much.

Last time this happened it was with my dog,

who’s currently dead…

I kept thinking of life without him and what would happen if he died.

Then it actually happened.

Don’t leave me mom.

I need you.

We all need you.

You light up so many lives.

I love you ❤️