As I raise my glass, I make calculations on how I can survive this speech.

_Be vague and talk about Mary only_

“I’ve known Mary since collage, and since we’ve meet, she’s been my best friend. My support. I can always talk to her and can always be honest with her, obviously.” That earned a chuckle throughout the crowd. These inhibitor chips made living life happily, a lot harder. They also itch for at least a month after being inserted, so I have at least a week to go.

I learned ways to skirt around a lie. I’ll just have to do that.

_Don’t look at him_

“When she first told me that she was in love, I was shocked.” I smiled

_That’s the truth_

“I’m so happy that she has found love,”

_But I was silently crying over who it was with_

“And before she was in love, I prayed that she wound find a husband and that their marrige will thrive.”

Holding back tears, I delivered my last line:

“I belive this is that marrige. I believe this marrige will thrive and last forever.”

The tears started falling, everyone thought they were tears of joy.

“I love you Mary.”

Everything hurt. My chest, my eyes, my soul. It felt like I was breaking. They were having the time of their lives. I didn’t say anything when she told me. Maybe if I had, things would be different. I would be in her place, and she would have been in mine. I don’t regret my decision. I would never risk her happiness. But this pain, this pain hurt like nothing I had felt before. I don’t have hopes for it going away.

I’m glad she’s happy. I am. As if I could lie about it. But I don’t know how long I can skirt around this lie, I don’t know how long I can find lope holes, choice words, double meanings. But until I break, I’ll sit here. Cracking with every kiss that they share. Every smile. Every look. Every touch. And I won’t say a word.