The revelation that washed over me once you choose her over me, your daughter. You choose a woman over your two kids and it hurt for years ands I did my best to still have a relationship with you but it didn’t matter you were gone before I was even born. I bet you still say I’m your “baby girl” “your only daughter”. I bet you still tell people that I choose this that I didn’t want you in my life. It’s not true there was was a point in my life where validation from you was all I ever wanted I needed you to be there but you didn’t want to be here I guess.

You missed first and last concert and yet I was still willing to give you a chance but when you missed my 8th grade graduation that’s when I knew I wasn’t ever going to be your first choice. Sometimes I still wonder why me? Why couldn’t I be your baby girl? Why couldn’t I have a father that loved me enough to be here? But then I remember that I’ll never know the answer, and I’m ok with that. Because I’ve realized that you’re always just gonna be a ghost of the person I’ve heard about.The dad that went to every little league game. The dad that wanted to be here.