I was always the odd one, the youngest of three,

My brothers less focussed on details than me.

They cared more for dollars than they did about sense,

They thought they were scholars, as they built their tents.

A career in construction, what could go wrong?

But they trimmed too much fat as they went along.

Saving on labour, saving on tools,

Not saving for tax though. Short-sighted fools.

One day they were visited by the inspector,

A whistle was blown, there was a defector.

“What is this shit? Sticks in the ground?

If there was a stiff breeze, it would blow this down.”

Then my dear brothers, with so much to hide.

They made a mistake — they offered a bribe.

I watched it go down from my mansion of bricks,

Taken off by the coppers with screams and with kicks.

With their only call, they thought I’d come running,

Yet instead I reveled in their unbecoming.

Their faces were plastered over local news,

Calls flooding in, “don’t tell me it’s true?!”

I posted their bail, they couldn’t leave home,

A monitored ankle, not far could they roam.

Not in the mood to roll in the sludge,

They sat and they waited til their day with the judge.

My little pig brothers, dragged through the mud.

Claim after claim that they’d sold them a dud.

Trying their hardest to pierce corporate veil,

The lawyers had failed. They stayed out of jail.

Did they learn? Lazy fuckers, of course they did not.

Right back to the foul line to shoot their next shot.

No community service, not even a spank,

They laughed all the way to their piggy bank.