This morning

I have on a black classy dress, lacy, comfortable, and flattering.

This mourning

I’m getting ready for my last concert, standing here with people, watching them get ready, feeling as if I’m misplaced.

I look in the mirror… seeing this body of mine wearing this black flattering dress, numb yet overwhelmed.

I never thought my senior concert would come.

The bright lights luminating my tears as they fall against this black lacy dress, holding hands with a friend I never knew shared the same love for me as I do for her.

My choir director, her last concert too. I wonder if she feels the same kind of love and saddness in this exact moment, her eyes seeming like they are grasping to pause this moment, trading in tears for a smile and inhaling the notes, never wanting to exhale. Her hands grasping for us on this stage one last time, as they fall signaling the end.

This black lacy dress of mine, once bought for me to be mourned in, now I wear on this stage one last time grieving the memories of my childhood.