I’ve been thinking about heartbreak lately, in all its guises. Forgotten love, unrequited love, partial love, love on the rocks, cheated love.

But we can fool ourselves into thinking anything, can’t we? And we do it so often, we don’t even notice most of the time. Before we invented clocks, we could listen to the rhythm of the world with greater accuracy, greater feeling.

As a child, when I had trouble sleeping, I remember my mother would say, “You can push the dark clouds away, Katie, you can sleep bathed in the light.”

The light however, continues to elude me, as much now as it did then as a kid. Can love be light and death the shadow? Or is it the other way round, or a mix of the two? It sounds quite dramatic, but then mostly we seem to be stuck in the everyday of the grey, the shadow is us and we are trapped by our own misery and mysteries.

Because you aren’t here now, and that is why I can’t see out of this fog, and so, you are essentially, the one that got away.