I feel the heaviness of helplessness resting upon me, constantly reminding me I need to lie.

_Irenea, lie,_ a voice says in my head.

_Irenea, no,_ another says from my heart.

“Well?,” Mother asked. “Where were you last night?”

My mouth refused to move.

“Irenea!” Mother shouted. “You were to be home by midnight, yet you were not found anywhere til this morning! _Where were you?_”

The question pierced my tongue, poisoning it as I said, “I was at Grandma’s.”

My voice did not falter under the lie I had just spun.

I lied.

I _lied_.

Mother seemed content with my answer and left to answer the door which seemed to be closed before visitors.

My heart sank and beated harshly, reminding me I lied.

Sweat marked my brow as I hurried to the garden, my hands shaky and my breathing quick.

Guilt was eating me away.

I can’t believe I just lied for the first time.

I stare at myself in the reflection of the water in the fountain, my perfect curls and pearls strung around my neck. I looked all the bit innocent and pure.

But I was not anymore.

I felt the empty place where my three lies once resided; now only two lingered.

“Irenea?” a familiar voice said from the rose bushes.

I turned to find Roman walking towards me, his face ashened at the sight of me panicking.

“Oh, my love, what has happened?” He asked quickly, his hands suddenly in mine.

Tears swelled in my eyes. “Roman, I-I lied to Mother about last night and I feel…horrible.”

Roman gently held me against his chest, careful to stay hidden in the garden.

Our love was forbidden. That is why I had lied.

“Oh, Irenea,” he said. “I’m sorry. I should’ve never put you in that situation.”

His voice caressed me, making the guilt seem less intense.

I had lied for a good reason; for love.

“I just want to love you freely, Roman, where lies do not need to be told,” I said.

“I know.”

I watched as Roman left the garden quietly and hidden. I turned and walked back to my house, where I’d be void of any love.

“Irenea, you liar!” Mother shouted from behind a bush.

Her face was rageful.

“You liar! Have I not taught you to never lie, most of all never lie to me!” She said, furiously walking towards me.

No no no no.

“How long have you been meeting with that boy? Have I not made it clear to stay away from him!”

I tried to back away, but I had nowhere to go.

“You dirty dirty girl!”

Mother grabbed my wrists, so tightly I could feel bruises forming. She dragged me to the attic and locked me within, spitting horrid words and threats.

“Mother please!” I begged. “I love him!”

“Oh, you foolish girl! Love is nothing but a lie!” Mother shouted.

But it wasn’t.

I could still feel the lingering two lies. My love for Roman was not a lie. My love for Mother wasn’t either…but it was getting harder.

“What of me then?” I cried. “Do you not love me? Not after I had done everything you said for the past seventeen years, crafting myself into your perfect picture? I served you, Mother. I listened and obeyed, but now that I wish to be free, to love, you punish me?”

Mother looked at me with a hint of remorse. “Your father’s love was a lie, his last one too. I caught on to his lies when I spied him professing his love to another. All I’ve tried to do, Irenea, is protect you from my same disappointment.”

The truth of the words tainted the pure image of her father, who died years ago.

“I’m sorry Mother, but you must understand, Roman’s love for me is not a lie.”

Her mother laughed. “Then how can you explain the fact I saw him yesterday morning walking with Meredith, kissing her cheek every third step?”

No.

“You’re lying,” I whispered, pain lancing my accusation.

Mother shook her head.

My heart suddenly hurt with each pulse.

“Love, my darling, is a cruel cruel thing,” Mother said, locking the door behind her.

If only Irenea knew her Mother had used her last lies.

Roman did not betray his love for Irenea.

And love was certainly not cruel.