A lustful touch, nasty grip dirty mind how you can change someone’s life from one day to another. The way someone’s eyesight and mind can change inna second. No thoughts behind those eyes just selfishness in your own desire ,no care in the world on why you do nor with whom. Focused on your own wants , the disgust on the person after years, the nasty feeling showers, the hatred in their eyes towards touch , the thought of feeling used , the sensation of being hypersexual, but the exhaustion of not wanting to do anything intimate but craving it when your by yourself. The feel of your own touch , the resent towards others. Scared of giving yourself up, vulnerable feeling all in you’’re thoughts. The option of giving in knowing you’re gonna live in regret. Feeling like that’s all you’re gonna be wanted for, giving in to things you promised not to. Doing things out of attachment not for you. Peer pressure after saying no remind you to that touch eventually giving in after they wont give up. The hate against yourself the guilt, ick, lost thoughts , feeling easy.