It always starts with just one little thing

A simple, stupid, thing

They ask how I am

And I always reply

With an “I’m great how are you?”

Or an “I’m doing just fine!”

And when I was little

It was more often than not

The truth

But as I got older, the lies did too

Now, at the ripe old age of not quite 15

That ridiculously small question

Turns me into a lier

First degeee

It was just so insignificant at first

Just to make someone else feel better

But now it’s too late

They all believe the lie

Cause I have told it for so long

And I haven’t let them see me cry

I am cracking

How does nobody see?!

I’m losing my mind

Going truly insane

The only thing I can feel lately

Is anxiety

And rage

God, I am just so angry

ALL THE TIME

And maybe if I had let someone in

I wouldn’t feel so blind

But nobody has noticed

That I haven’t genuinely smiled

In weeks

So really who is the blind one

In this whole thing

I’m in school once more

What day is it?

I honestly don’t remember anymore

I don’t really care

Cause it doesn’t really matter

Why should anything

When I just feel so shattered

Oh

Wait, what is on my face?

The tears have started pouring

And I am in the wrong place

This can’t happen here!

I can’t let them see!!!

Why are you doing this to me?!

My friend looks over

And I can see

The exact moment she realized

That I am a big fat lier

And that I can’t breathe

So….

I guess now I am here

Telling this story

From the hospital ward

Let this be a tale of… maybe not woe

That feels a little to much like self pity

And I am not that kind of girl

So let’s just say instead

That this is a tale of caution

That maybe we shouldn’t lie

That dead girls don’t talk

And they especially can’t say

That they are doing

“Just fine”

AN: this is all completely (mostly) fictional. U am not writing this from the hospital, it was just what fit the rhyme scheme and theme of the story best. I am completely fine, ESPECIALLY now that school is over. Love you guys 💙💜🩵