I can’t help myself!

My father was one

My mother was one

I’m an alcoholic.

Just like my parents

It started when I was an infant

I was colic and mom would but a drop of

whiskey in my milk, to stop me from crying.

Obviously, it worked and made me sleep. I lived in a household, which was totally disfunctional.

Watching mom and dad get drunk every night seemed totally normal to me. What did I know? I was just a kid.Mom and Dad would drink every night. Then they would fall asleep, in the living room, with the television blasting!

When I turned 13, I went from knickers to long pants.

Dad says now your a man!

He took me for the first time,to his local bar.

Everyone knew his name,because he was a regular customer.

Dad ordered a beer and a shot of Jack Daniel’s.

He takes the glass of beer and hands it to me.

Your a man now, so it’s time to experience your first beer.

Slowly, I took my first sip of beer. It tasted like soap suds. The second sip, then the third. After drinking half a glass, it started to taste good .

Before you know it, I finished the whole glass of beer.

Dad was busy talking to the bartender about last night‘s baseball game.

The room started to spin, I started to feel nauseous. The room was spinning, echoing the sounds of silence whispering in my ears.

Dad, I don’t feel so good. He wasn’t paying attention. He was too busy talking about the game. Quietly, I hobbled outside, stood by the curb, and threw up. I vomited profusely,like I never vomited before. My head was pounding ,with vomit dripping down my blue sweater. I was a mess. I felt awful and started to cry. My father told me I was a man now, so I couldn’t show my emotions.

Well, that’s how I started to drink.

Now ten years later at 23 years old, I can’t stop drinking!

Rehab didn’t help me. I tried several times. I can’t stop.I’m back at that same bar my father took me 10 years ago. I am now a regular customer, just like my father was.

Dad passed away awhile ago from liver disease caused by drinking.

It’s Saturday nite and I’m home watching baseball on television. Sitting on my recliner with a cigarette in one hand and a drink the other.

So,before I go to sleep, I need that drink to relax me. I can’t go to sleep any other way.

I know I need help!

My life is a disaster. No family, no partner. I’m all alone and unhappy about it. Whiskey became my partner, my lover, my friend and my sleep companion!

I said it once, I said it twice I need help!!!