It takes the moon approximately 29.5 days to move through its phases; Darkness taking over a part of you that was once bright, soon to shine again.

New Moon

God is gone. What a lonely and terrifying world. An ocean so unforgiving, destroying and stealing people way to early, Nights taking over, full of danger and loud thoughts. People leave, their unsmiling faces determined to ignore the painful baggage they keep quiet. The pain of waking up and taking care of a body that feels like it is carrying the weight of the world. Getting through the day with a mind shouting thoughts you’d prefer to bury. God is gone, and I am alone.

Waxing Crescent

Is God Even here? Does he see me drowning? Is this part of the plan, to make me so tired of living, that I need him. Because I do need him, and In some form of hope want to beleive he is with me. People are starting to notice the walls I have built blocking them out. They do not say anything, overwhelmed by the fear of being pushed further. But they notice, and for now that is enough, to keep going. Maybe there is more to life than I am seeing, maybe I just need to wait and find out. Maybe God is noticing too. If you are, please carry me God I need you. Are you there?

First Quarter

People are starting to chip the barrier I have surrounded myself into solidarity with. People are smiling and starting to glow. I have found some new hobbies, and some old that bring a little releif to the pain that my heart is filled with. It is beginning to feel a bit less heavy to wake up and shower. I think maybe I will let some through the barriers, maybe they wont be too scared of the baggage I carry, It is starting to not seem as horrible as I thought. Maybe God is carrying me, maybe he did notice. If you are there, thank you God.

Waxing Gibbous

Thank you God. You noticed and you carried me. You have brought people into my life that foreshadowed the potential I have of happiness. My baggage is nothing, and I am so thankful to worry about the things I do, when others worry for worse. I have found happiness in things like the ocean and sunsets, that I once thought were a void of pain and danger. God I think I beleive in you. I only ask that you help me to beleive in you at my darkes times, so that they can be lighter.

Full Moon

I am so grateful for the life God has given me. This wonderful, busy, beautiful life filled with a glowing community. Little things that are powerful; The ocean, a mindblowing force of nature, hugging you softly with every wave, while it has the ability to defeat you in seconds. An ocean that destroys cities, is the same ocean that people have learned to read, learned to use and have fun with. Sunsets and Sunrises, Lighting up this world, naturally waking some up, while others wakeup just to see it. For people to wake up just to see something that happens everyday “cassually”? It has to be beautiful. And sunsets, slowly letting the night take over. I am so grateful for the life God has given me.