I smile, I laugh, I even dance to their music.

I greet them with Hellos.

I buy them gifts of thanks.

The screeching of cellos rings through my ears.

My face is hurting and I’m holding back tears.

I keep smiling and I keep laughing until I disassociate.

I’ve painted this persona of joy that I must undertake, but it’s harder each day as the pain is harder and harder to push away.

The mask is slipping, but I can’t let it slip, I can’t allow myself to trip.

Push that negativity down deep into the pit and if it aches just smile as if nothing is happening.

I’m happy on the outside and that’s how it must be, I just wish that this facade was reality.