Smoke Swirling

By: Just a girl ♥️

I’ve become entangled in your power—

Each exhale dulls the ache

Of all the thoughts that keep me awake.

I look around, wondering

When I took the turn.

Telling myself

These were lessons I had to learn.

I remember letting go—

Jumping in with both feet.

Fear and thrill collided

As I ran toward you,

Mistaking it for freedom

From the round and round in my mind

You wrapped around my brain ,

Twisting thought into illusion.

Choices felt clear,

But now I see they were only delusion.

Each hit, a whisper:

You’re in control. You’re invincible.

And I believed it.

I’d do anything to keep you in me—

Lie, hide, bury my soul

To stay under your hold.

I still hear you in my dreams,

Calling me back:

One more time… it’s not you that’s bad

But outside your grasp,

I see the wreckage.

I became someone I barely know—

Settling for pain,desiring love,

Accepting less than I deserve,

Just to feel your false comfort.

Mistaking chaos as happiness

Your beautiful crystals

Turned to ash.

And when the high was gone,

I returned just in the same place you found me,

Alone.

Regret-heavy.

Still aching.

Craving for a life worth living.

Just one more,

My mind pleads—

A desperate search

For stolen relief.

And somehow,

Even now,

It doesn’t feel

Like the choice is mine.

So I sit with the silence,

Haunted by your echo,

Wondering if I’ll ever truly be free—

Or if I’ll always carry

Your shadow over me.