Ive had enough sleepless nights to almost enjoy the night terrors. At least i get to sleep before i wake up screaming.

Screaming and didorientated with soaked in sweat. Sweat drenched clothes and damp blankets.

Blankets i curl deeper into, pulling them over my head. My pillow soaks up the tears spilling from my eyes.

My eyes, close tightly but they cant block out the feeling of being hunted. Hunted without knowing it, unaware, unexpecting, oblivious.

Oblivious to my surroundings, blind to the deception, alone in a group of people. People i called friends, people i trusted, cared for, protected.

Protected i was not. No one steped in and no one steped up.

Up on display, friends all around, how did nobody notice. Or did they notice and just didnt care.

Didnt care about my wellbeing, didnt care i was out of it. Only one person counted my drinks, but it wasnt my friends, nor i

I didnt say no. I couldnt say no. Not without slurring, vomiting, or falling out of focus.

Focusing on your breathing, brings me back to our bed. The fan, the dog’s snores, the house creaking around us. Im back.

Back in your arms i’ve never felt so safe. So secure and loved. Im sorry where my mind goes. Im sorry i left, if only in a dream.