**I wrote this poem based off lyrics from the song “Streetlight” by Changbin and Bang Chan of Stray Kids.**

_Like a streetlight,_

_Like a streetlight…_

At the end

Of a lonely day,

I’m there,

Standing vacantly,

Trying to find my way.

It’s awfully dark

In the middle

Of the lonely night,

So to be my own light,

I try my best

To smile brightly.

I have to stay

Strong,

I don’t want anyone to see

How incredibly weak

I am.

To the people

Who relied on me,

That’s a

Contradiction,

Don’t you see?

_If they can_

_Lean on me,_

_Why can’t I_

_Lean on them?_

_Acting strong,_

_Acting like I’m not_

_Hurting,_

_Acting like nothing is_

_Wrong._

I just wanted to be

Someone

Who gives strength

To others,

Not someone

Who needs strength

Given to them.

I can’t

Be the reason

That they lose

Strength,

So I hide

My weakness.

I don’t have

The courage to ask,

“Can I

Lean on you?”

My pain stays hidden

Behind a mask.

The pain

Silently

Grows in my heart,

Yet I can hear

The strain.

It feels like

I’m trapped

In a room without

A way out.

All this silent pain,

This heartache and strain,

I guess I can still

Bear it,

Because I’m still able

To hold it in.

_The bandage _

_On the wound_

_Will eventually _

_Come off._

__

_Even though I _

_Quickly_

_Stick it back on,_

_It doesn’t stay on_

_For much longer._

__

_The wounds,_

_The scars,_

_What if they’re _

_Seen?_

Rainwater

Pounding on the old roof

Of my mind,

Breaking down

My emotional barriers,

Finding

My empty cracks

All too well.

_It keeps_

_Leaking,_

_Through my _

_Cracking demeanor,_

_Again and_

_Again._

I know I’ve

Stood “strong” in solitude

For so long,

But…

_I need _

_Someone_

_Before I_

_Collapse._

__

_But…_

__

_I can’t seem_

_To ask for help…_

Please,

Ask me again

If I’m ok,

Somebody,

Anybody.

_Like a streetlight,_

_Like a streetlight…_

__

In the middle of

The lonely night,

I still just

Look bright,

Even with the

Darkness

Inside me.

At the end of

A lonely day,

I’m standing vacantly

Yet again,

On my own.

In the middle of

The lonely night,

I try my best

To smile

Brightly,

To be a light

Of guidance

For those who need

To see.

I’m unable

To rely

On anything

Or anyone,

I’m too afraid

To break down

The walls

I spent so long

Building

To appear strong.

I chose to only rely

On myself,

Refusing to burden others

With _my_ burdens.

But now

That I’m shaking,

Now

That I’m on the verge

Of erupting,

Who can I

Hold onto for

Support?

I stand

In front of the shoulders

I’d rested my hands on

In comfort,

Providing comfort,

But never

Receiving it.

_My shoulders_

_Are now drooping_

_Even further,_

_But who cares?_

__

_No one._

__

_I can’t _

_Let it out._

__

_I can’t_

_Let it all out._

I’m stuck

Wallowing in misery,

And the pain I

Couldn’t let out

Drives me insane,

And I start

Blaming myself

For it all.

When I keep breathing in

This stale air,

The tension and

The pressure…

It goes beyond

Being uncomfortable…

_It’s suffocating…_

__

And I’m left gasping

For air.

_I end up_

_Bothered _

_By things that shouldn’t even_

_Matter…_

__

_And they end up_

_Mattering_

_Even though they shouldn’t…_

__

Even though

Peoples’ eyes

Aren’t on me,

I feel their

Overwhelming presences,

Watching me,

Judging me…

_I feel their_

_Gazes_

_Sting…_

__

_I’m terrified,_

_Terrified of their_

_Judging eyes._

I’m thinking

They might keep watch

And see the

Pained, sorrowful expression

I’ve kept hidden

Slip out.

I’m afraid,

Yeah,

I’m afraid

Of being weak.

_Like a streetlight,_

_Like a streetlight…_

__

_Oh god…_

__

_I’m afraid,_

_I’m afraid…_

At the end of

A lonely day,

You guessed it!

I’m alone

In every way,

Standing vacantly.

In the middle of

The lonely night,

I try my best

To smile brightly,

Yet I see no light.

_Like a streetlight,_

_Like a streetlight…_

__

In the middle of

The lonely night,

I still just

Look bright,

Well…

_I try_.

At the end of

A lonely day,

A lonely nights

Begins,

And I’m there,

In the dark,

Standing vacantly.

In the middle of

A lonely night,

I try my best

To smile brightly,

For them,

Not for me…