Your world keept spinning, so did mine. We came from two diffrent worlds, at least it felt like it. I thought the world would end if you left me, i told you that. You smiled as if i had said something silly.

”**_ i will never leave you_**” came out from those beautiful lips, i could tell you meant it. You keept your words. You never **left** but **neither** did you **stay**.

Because with all the suffer and pain you caused me, i was forced to leave. I had to choose between me or us.

In the beginning i constantly feared you would leave me one day. In the end i begged you to leave. I really wanted it to be you who would end it. But you didn’t. You wanted to play the game you knew i hated. You wanted to see how much longer i could go on.

You knew it was domed from the start while i was clueless. It wasn’t fair. Everyday with you felt suffocating. I was drowning and no one reached out a hand. Everyone took a step back and all i was left with was you. You threw a life buoy everytime i was on the verge of drowning, in those moments you were my prince charming. In your selfish and needy ways you always threw the life buoy behind me so that you could disappear when i turned around. Only for me to find you infront of a mirror.

I never were crazy, i wasn’t crazy for expressing my feelings, i wanted you to understand how much of an impact your actions and your words had on me.

We should never allow anyone to make us feel bad for expressing our emotions or drawing our boundaries.

You always sounded so convincing even when you told me i was the one with issues, i forced myself to belive you were right. Everything seemed so easy when you were perfect in my eyes. Because at the time, i would rather be the problem than having to see your flaws. Opening my eyes and coming to my senses made me realise you caused the battles i had to fight for us.

We always assume the ones who have been left are the victims. We never know what’s going on in other people’s life, we never know what’s going on in their minds or the full story between two people who once were in love. We only know what the person want us to know.

You took away everything i stood for and i made it easy for you. The love i had for you was enough for me to become your doll. I were who you wanted me to be. I was your doll for two years.

I will never try to convince anyone that it’s easy to leave. To be honest it’s hard to know when it’s time to leave, when it’s no longer worth fighting for. I asked myself ” would i still go on the plane if i knew it was going to crash ”. I knew the answer, i choose to stay in denial. Everytime i tried to leave you filled me up with delusionals, you knew what buttons you had to push for me to stay the way you wanted me to.

I might **not** be **perfect for you ****_but_** i know i am **somebody else’s perfect**

**Your plans **for **my roll** in ” our” future togheter are today only **in your head** which know means i get to chose my own path.

Life is a journey, everyday is a step, an adventure and an opportunity.

When the universe slams a door in your face, look for a window. Do it on your own no matter how hard it seems.

Every step along your journey is either a lesson or an achievement.

Looking back at it, i have never been so sure of a decision in my life like when i choose to ”just leave”.

After all, the world did not end.