As I sit in my bed upset about the awful day I had my roommate walks in. We say hi to each other and we sit in silence in our respective corners of the room. She can tell I’m upset by the way my lip quivers as I’m on my phone. I lay on my side facing away from her and silently whimper while trying not to cry. Negative thoughts swirl in my head like a hurricane of anxiety.

My brain keeps saying “You’re worthless. You don’t even deserve to be here. You’re such an idiot. You’re hideous. No wonder no one likes you. You look like a whale. You should just leave it would make everyone happier to know you’re gone. You make everyone miserable.”

I’m trying to hold it all in but I just can’t. I break out in sobs. My roommate is not the affectionate type. We don’t hug or do anything like that. I hear her get out of bed and I turn and face her. She leaves the room and closes the door behind her. I sob even harder knowing she just left. I can cry in peace but the thoughts continue to swirl.

“She left because you can’t stop crying. You’re a terrible roommate and she hates you”

As I sob and hyperventilate, I hear the front door of our dorm open and footsteps that sound like they’re coming towards my room. The door opens and there is my roommate. She had gotten shake shack. I thought that was strange because my roommate doesn’t like burgers. She closed the door behind her and walked towards me. She put the shake shack right next to me on my desk. She put her arms out and gave me a hug.

“I got you food. Please eat it. Let me know when you’re ready to talk.”

I nod my head and tell her thank you. She leaves the room so I can cry and eat my food. We don’t hug or say I love you often but I can tell she loves me. Just by these little moments. It doesn’t need to be spoken, but I know she does.