I had a wee rum and im feeling my feels.

I want to tell you that I hate how im doing

I hate that I cant ever be emotionally regulated

I hate that I cant trust

I hate the way you initiate anything sexual

I hate your hair and your cologne and it reminds me of your bad days

I want to share that I feel lonely with you and when im away I feel relieved

I hate that it went from the most exciting and best thing to the thing that made me bitter and angry

I had some rum and Im scared to tell you about how it feels nice to not think about you and to be off my face for a little while

I hate that if I said any of this It would turn around on me and add to my shame

I wish I could say this sober but ……

Actually im tired of feeling this way

Im getting a glass of water and calling it off

I want to feel like how I felt with that shot of rum warm and comfortable and in my own skin

We are done. Im scared but if being drunk at this bar feels better than being with you its worth ending