slowly opening my eyes to the glimpses of light i see as the sun rises above the mountains is a buetiful way to wake up. getting to see my boyfreinds comforting face as i lye in the creases of his abedomin is nice but i cant help but imagine if he knew the thought i have every morning when i wake up and see him and not payton. payton is my best freind, we have been as close as freinds could be ever sense we were born. i love my boyfreind jaymie i really do, but hes not payton i know that beacuse when i hug him i dont get that same soft tingle in my stoumach that i do when i hug payton. if anybody found out that he made me feel this way i would be done, my other best freind becca is paytons very serious girlfreind and i was the one who set them up, unknowing why i was feeling jealous when she called to tell me about the amazing time they had on there date. i would be freindless and boyfreindless if anybody ever found out that i was sickeningly in love with him, so i must live my painfully mundane love life wondering if anybody but payton will make me feel how i feel about him.