And

just

like

that

Another life slipped through my fingers like water

But blood is thicker than water

And neptunes oceans couldn’t rid me of this red

A deep, crimson red seeps between my palms

Blood stained to my flesh

One more beating heart

is now without tune

Here they lay

They fought so hard against the darkness;

Battled for one more breath until the very end

Under my care, they lost to the battle

I couldn’t light the flame

once it had blown out

My eyes fall to the straight line

printed to the machines face

How I yearn to hear the incessant beeping

Just to see a single jolt of life

Nothing.

How many lines have to flatten before I break?

The echoes of this patients laugh

linger in the corners of my mind

The laugh that is buried deep in the past

Before her light was blown to a wick

I feel the bloodstains like rocks, on my scrubs

weighting me further to the floor

My knees buckle inward a little

The unbearable numbness returns

I’ve been here before

Every muscle in me has rooted to this spot

Every muscle is petrified like rock

Look at me

I have blood on my hands

I scorn at the thought of what comes next

What must I say

to this man’s wife?

My legs are now sand bags

I drag them down to the waiting room

Almost breaking into a bloody sweat

The same pitiful words pivot in my mind

Make my head heavy with pain

like a riptide in my temples

I see her through the glass

Clutches her handbag with a slight tremble

This fear of losing her other half

settles deep in the bones

Strikes the heart in one blow

But those eyes…

still hold hope in their glance

Who would I be to look straight in those eyes

and snatch any glimpse of light?

Condemn a women to darkness

I am the chosen one

The one to end her world

In just a few words

We catch each others gaze

She has already read:

my pace ,

my tightened lips ,

my empty voice

She knows before I cross the threshold

My mouth feels dry

I choke on my words

though my eyes are wet

Pricking from behind the sockets

A slow tear strolls down her sunken cheek

For the both of us

We cling to this frozen moment together

Planted in another’s absence

Another soul lost to the blackening unknown

And I stand here before his love

Plastered in her husbands blood

She crumbles to a pulp

A searing moan leaves her throat

Like a mouse caught in a trap

And

Just

Like

That

Another life has slipped through my fingers

And well,

‘I’m just sorry’