April 3rd

Eli,

Sorry if this is messy. I haven’t written anything that’s not a checklist or a report in weeks. Or maybe it’s months. Same thing?

I just wanted to say I miss you. The kind of miss where it makes your bones hurt. You know that ache? I get it in my chest now, too. When I hear your voice in my head, I forget the dust, the noise, all of it.

I don’t want to worry you, but it’s getting bad out here. I can’t lie. Things are falling apart faster than they can fix them. And it’s loud, Eli. It’s always loud.

Anyway. I’m writing this because I need to feel something other than fear. And love is louder than fear.

I stole that line from my buddy, im not actually that poetic. Its true though

Yours. Always.

Sam

From Eli to Sam

April 7th

Your letter came. I cried reading it, and then i laughed. I read it five times before I let myself breathe again.

You’re right. Love is louder than fear. But Im still scared, I shouldnt be, I know that. Your a brave man and you wont die to any solider.

I keep sleeping on your side of the bed. I wake up facing the empty pillow like it might speak back. Sometimes I whisper things to it, dumb things like “I burned dinner again” or “your plants are still alive somehow.”

I want to believe I’ll see you again, but part of me is already grieving. And I hate that. I hate myself for thinking that way.

Come home. I don’t care how. Just come back.

I love you.

From Eli to Sam

April 15th

Still nothing. I walk to the mailbox like it might change something.

I bought that stupid cereal you like, the one with the cartoon lion. I ate it and cried, kinda pathetic, I know.

I’m scared to sleep now. I keep having dreams about you dying.

I wish I could hold your hand.

From Eli to Sam

April 28th

Sam,

It’s your birthday today. I lit a candle. You always said the flame looked like it was dancing. It’s still burning now. I keep staring at it.

I also started writing you a poem. It’s awful, you would probably make fun of me for it if you saw it..

Come home.

Eli

From Department of Defense to Eli K Lundenburg

May 2nd

Notification of Casualty

It is with deep regret that we inform you of the death of Private Samuel R. Hayes. He died in the line of duty on April 14th. Further details are classified.

His personal effects will be delivered to your listed address. We extend our heartfelt condolences for your loss.

______________________

FOUND IN THE POCKET OF SAMUEL R. HAYES.

I don’t know if this one’ll reach you. They’ve moved us again, and I’m running out of time to say what I need to.

Also, dont diss my cereal again

Anywho, I dont want to worry you anymore, so, im fine. As of now. Im working on mostly mechanics of the planes. And besides, the enemy airforce has terrible aim, they’ll never get me.

Hope I didnt jinx myself

Anyways. I’ve been thinking about you alot. And I know I JUST said that I dont wanna worry you, but

If I don—-