i will never go back home

i will never go back

i will never go back to where i took my first steps

i don't remember my first steps, too much of my life has gotten in the way ever since

i will never go back to the house with carpet floors

i don't remember anything but hardwood floors

i will never go back to hating my big brother

i don't remember him ever being younger than 18

i will never go back to not knowing what’s wrong

i don't remember anything ever being right

i will never go back to the homely chorus of chinese

i dont remember ever speaking chinese the america i grew up in took that away from me

i will never go back to fearing only the dark

i don't remember ever being afraid

i will never go back to dreading preschool in the morning

i dont remember the mornings

i will never go back to where the floodwaters came

i dont remember the old house

in my dreams i am there

stagnancy for the sake of memory

we say home is where the heart is

i left my heart in southampton