Hey Journal It’s May 15th 2025, my birthday.

I figured that I might as well start keeping a journal cause I’ve heard it’s good for you and it might make me feel a little better somehow. Not much went on today. I went to work, it went like any other day. My boss was a dick to me as usual. I wish I could find somewhere better to work but I’m already overwhelmed as it is.

I picked up a slice of cheesecake on my way home. I was too lazy to get berries or something to put on top of it so I just had it plain with a glass of milk. It was mid.

I went out on my balcony of my 4th story studio apartment that I’m paying too god damn much for and lit up a birthday joint. I watched my old lady neighbor through her window in the apartment across from mine while she watched tv. I wondered what happened to her husband not for the first time. At least she has her cat though.

I debated on if it was lonelier to have someone to love then loose them or to not have anyone at all. Do you think she’s lonelier with her life full of memories of times past or me with my wasted potential of the future. Then I watched the cat that lives under the dumpster fight off a raccoon for some garbage and went to bed. I hate my birthday.

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May 16th, 2025

I’m starting to get pretty fed up with my boss. He keeps talking shit calling me slow at my job behind my back to the other coworkers. Like if you’ve got something to say, say it to my face stop being a little bitch. The only reason I know is because I’m cool with my coworker Brad and he told me.

Brad says I just need to grow a pair and stand up for myself or boss will never respect me. I told him that’s just not the kind of person I am and I just wished people wouldn’t be dicks for no reason. But I think Brad is right I just don’t know if I can stand up to my boss like that. Who knows though I might just snap one of these days. I really need a new job.

I ate some cereal out on the balcony tonight. I try to get this healthy granola cereal but it has just as much sugar as the sugary kinds so idk why I try. The old lady was watching tv again, her cat was sleeping on her lap.

I’m glad they have eachother. I wish they weren’t cooped up in their little apartment like that. If this were a nice walkable community they could take nice walks together. I’ve seen those little cat backpacks on instagram I’ve always wanted to use one. Nobody wants to walk around this dirty city though.

Looked like cat under the dumpster got some decent dinner. Couldn’t tell what it was eating but it seemed like it was enjoying itself. That raccoon stayed away I think it learned its lesson haha. At least it’s the weekend.

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May 19th 2025

Work went by so slow today. Boss was alright but it’s awkward still. Brad said I just need to talk to the boss but I’m not ready for that, maybe I can write something to say to him but it makes me crazy anxious. I keep joking with Brad I should just quit haha.

Something cool happened on my way into my apartment. I get the mail on my way in sometimes and I ran into the old lady! Her name is Gwen and her cat’s name is Roxy. I asked her about herself and apparently she did have a husband pass away recently and she said it’s a lot easier with Roxy there for eachother. It got me thinking about that cat under the dumpster. She is a very sweet old lady, I wish this world was better to people like her.

It was raining in the evening so I kind of felt bad for the cat. I got the idea to take one of my Amazon boxes and cut a door and put a plastic bag on the top to give it a spot out of the rain. I made my way down to the dumpster but so didn’t see it anywhere. I left the box there anyways with some leftover chicken in there.

I stayed a bit and the cat came out! It sniffed its way to the chicken and I watched it eat. It saw me after it was done. We looked at eachother for a second then it ran off. Im sure it’ll go back to the box for a dry place to sleep. Hope it stays warm tonight.

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May 20th 2025

I finally worked up the courage to talk to my boss after double checking what I wrote with Brad. The asshole just said either get faster or leave because this is a real job and they don’t want half assers working there. I gave him the finger said “Fuck you” and walked out. It honestly felt good to finally tell him off. I told Brad we can celebrate this weekend or something. Maybe now I’ll finally start looking for a job.

Walking back into the apartment I saw a couple ambulances outside. I don’t know why but I thought about Gwen even though it’s a normal thing to have them at the apartment. I applied to a few jobs, it was kind of exciting to imagine what I want to be doing. We’ll see how the actual hiring process goes though.

While eating dinner out on the balcony I didn’t see Gwen and her cat through the window, I hope she’s ok. I took my leftovers down to the cat by the dumpster and it was in my box house! It scurried off when it saw me but after patently waiting for a bit it slowly crept up and ate the leftovers. While it was eating I slowly walked up to it and crouched down, it actually didn’t mind! It got scared off after I stood up. I wonder if it was domesticated before cause it didn’t seem to mind me as much as I thought it would. I wonder if it’s very lonely too.

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May 21st, 2025

I have some sad news. While eating breakfast I saw movers moving Gwen’s furniture out of her apartment. I think those ambulances were for her. She deserved so much more than what this world gave her in the end. I wonder if Roxy is going to be ok. I hope Gwen has some children that could take her, I forgot to ask if she had kids with her husband.

I was thinking about the cat by the dumpster most of the day. I really think it was someone’s cat at some point.

I’ve never seen it during the day so I picked up some fancy cat food to try and win it over for that night. I also got a litter box if I ended up being successful.

That night I went down to the dumpster and peaked inside the box from a ways away and sure enough it was inside the box. I slowly walked up and it didn’t run away which was crazy. I got pretty close and put the plate of food in front of it and after a lot of hesitation it started carefully eating. I slowly reached my hand out and it let me pet it!

After it finished eating it started rubbing on my leg. I carefully tried to pick it up and it was totally chill with it! There’s no way it’s a wild cat because it would never trust me that fast otherwise. I quickly brought it up to my apartment and luckily we didn’t run into anyone on the way up.

I think im going to name her Gwen. Maybe the two of us will be a little less lonely together.