The sun is shining through the window

Gently waking me from a deep dreamless slumber

Soft fur under my cheek, a hand stitched quilt covers me

For a moment I forget where I am but then my senses awaken and I realize I am home

My nose is assaulted with a foul smell

The diaper needs changing

The fur beneath my cheek is stuck to my face

It’s a stuffed puppy, covered in jif

The quilt sewed with love covers only my shoulder, it’s not made for an adult

My muscles scream as I stretch

My postpartum body isn’t meant for the hard floor

But what am I to do?

He’ll only sleep when I’m next to him,

Holding his tiny hand

But the crying wakes up his dad,

Who loves him so much,

But HE can’t be tired for work tomorrow

I don’t remember rest,

I don’t remember to do the laundry,

Buy diapers, or sweep

I don’t remember to take care of myself.

I’m the happiest I’ve ever been

And the most miserable

What is at rock bottom?

The purest love I’ve ever known for a tiny little soul

But I didn’t know

it would mean loosing who I was before