I sat down outside once I had my large Americano, It smelled delicious and it felt warm against my hand. I looked up, letting the hot mid-afternoon sun shine down on my face as I let realization kick in. Today is the first day in months when I don’t have to be overwhelmed or anxious about anything: the school year is over, so is nationals at gymnastics, and I’m finally home from college. I’ve spent weeks daydreaming about days like these, days where I have no responsibilities and can just be still. So now, with my drink in hand and a closed book that I have wanted to start since last year, I take a deep breath and ask myself why I am not at peace. I’m supposed to be resting but I can’t help but feel guilty about not doing anything, about not being productive. There are probably people my age right now who are doing great things with their lives and don’t get to rest much, but it’s ok because just like everyone says it will pay off in the future…right? But I have done my work, I’ve worked harder than I ever have, and got the results that I wanted. So why can’t I just enjoy my very deserved coffee without feeling like I should be working?