Thank goodness for this prompt.

This is a true story and it’s happening as I write.

everything’s packed up.

every summer we’d visit this place

and it was hard to say goodbye.

but this is for real.

there’s no going back.

literally.

a neighbor I’ve known for three days came over to give me a gift.

a flower necklace wrapped in a handkerchief.

“you’re going to need it” she told me.

i tried to tell her i did not

but based on my wet face

i think i was lying to her and myself.

“goodbye bird whisperer” she said

and for some reason i choked out

“thank you.”

i went and sat in the very back of the orange orchard

and I cried into the dirt.

“thank you thank you thank you.

you gave us so much.

you were never perfect

but we never needed you to be.”

the mockingbirds spoke a million ways

the words of the seashore (seagulls crying)

the words of little birds i had not seen

a million more words that were not words but spoke volumes.

“does anybody have an empty bottle of some kind” i asked. “this is going to sound stupid but…”

my mother looked at me with sorrow and a smile.

“don’t worry, i already have a jar of dirt.

it’s not stupid.

and if it is

then i guess we can be stupid together.”

we can always go back to california

but all of us teary, snot faced people

realize we cannot go back to our memories

Thank you for reading. This is really hard for me and I hope you, the reader, never have to go through something like this.

But I think I’m okay. I’m sad, but I’m also grateful to CA for giving me these memories.

We are moving some family out of their CA home, and now we don’t really have a reason to visit CA again. I’ve visited every summer and it’s a place that’s very dear to my heart. Again, thank you for reading through this. You matter more than you know. Never have doubt that you are an important human being that deserves good things. 💕