It really is funny. No amount of time, distance, nor inebriation can separate that link from them. Years passed by with my thumb always lingering on the heartbeat of us. We had been dead a long while. Even if I didn’t admit it to myself, all I needed was one pulse from the monitor. It never came. Months and weeks worth of racing thoughts in times of solitude was my prescription for the sickness I had contracted. There just had to be a time where my want to get better outweighed my “need” for them in my life. I’m embarrassed to admit the length of time it ended up for that prescription to run out.

It was time.

I won’t act like my experience is singular or limited. Yet we have to realize that each recovery and letting go is vital to keeep going. I didn’t just all of a sudden forget they existed. I realized the beauty of the people around me that showed up for me every battle with myself. That life is summed up by so much beauty culminating around me. So this isn’t me erasing you from my past. This is me letting you go and accepting that I was naively dragging the corpse of us around as living. I will accept the new things that will come.