I AM ONLY IN THE VERY BEGINNING STAGES OF MY STORY PLEASE BE KIND!😅 these are all based off of ideas and not a solid concept yet , please do give feedback as I appreciate it!!

There is my own personal notes in the writing that I did not feel to take out but if any feedback or questions please let me know! 😁

!!!!!!TW: vulgar language, mention of mental health ( ex: anxiety, depression, burnout, self sabotage , meltdown , etc) , talk negatively of religion , etc.!!!!!!!!!

Blue’s backstory idea?:

 (this is from Blue’s POV, giving insight to his anxiety and backstory while revealing slightly Ian and Alice downfall plot line??)

All of the sudden, I just feel anxious. It's hard to care for so many people at once. My mind feels scattered. Balancing people, things, my actions, my thoughts, my life…, I just am just so burnt out by it? I’ve noticed my avoidant attachment style to others and things as well. How much more can I take from this? I am so much in my own head, I don’t even hear a single word come from Ian’s (Or Preston unsure of name yet) mouth, as I now only realized how hard I was gripping my disposable coffee cup in my hand.

“And so she was…. And this was so nice….”(give more details here that hints at the meeting for Alice when I can think of some but only slight that readers can out together later on, this will be PRIOR to her leaving him for the ex??) I only can momentarily hear him speak about… whatever… it is what he was speaking about now if I’m honest. I half look up at him, I can tell the bags under my eyes look heavier today than when I last saw him. He finally stops mid sentence 

“She was so fine and I had to pray so har… Are you even listening to me right now Blue??”

I let out a low “Hmm?” and a faked half smile. He instantly called my bullshit. Fuck. Ian stood from his seat, hand on his little silver cross around his neck. Some God..yeah, I never knew how he could believe sooo much into some… belief, a myth even possibility? Of an all immortal and powerful figure?being? That’s good? I loved Ian for his false sense of optimism, but hated him at this moment for it. I knew I couldn't even fake a mask at this moment, I worry I may do something I’d regret due to my thoughts. He stood up from his seat and put his arm around my neck and laughed at me lightly, his soft chuckle that made women swoon, but made me in this moment lowly grumble.

“MYYYY FRIENDDDD!” he laughed in my ear, “What’s got you so in the dumps today, my buddies?” I simply let out a sigh. I didn't have the patience for this, his smile, his energy, his glow, it was too intoxicating. And I don’t mean that in the positive sense, I mean as, his sense of positivity, it had a stench to me at this moment that I simply had only one way to respond. 

“Ian..” I quietly warned, but of course he kept going on.. To my dismay and my disgust. 

“BLUEEEEE! WE MUST FIND YOU SOMEONE TO LOVEEEEEE TOOOO” he sang in his sing songy tone. I snapped. I DID NOT need one more person to have to take care of right now. I shoved him off me and  looked at him with no emotion on my face until I said my next words. 

“ IAN! WHY THE FUCK WOULD I NEED THAT?!?!” I shouted at him. The entire cafe I swear went silent at that moment, all I could hear was my words echoing through the walls to outside. His smile instantly faded into a frown. He walked shyly over to seat and lowered his gaze to me and quietly said, “ Blue… people are staring at you now…” FUCK! He was right, the entire shop was staring at ME! I stood up angrily and began my way to the door, Ian not making a single move from his slumped position in the chair he sat in, not even to look up at me, I knew I fucked up then, but I didnt care. 

“YOU ALL OUTTA MIND YOUR DAMN OWN BUSINESS!” I shouted as I slammed the glass door so hard, if I had cared I would have checked if I had cracked it at all. But alas I walked in stride, anxiety now turned to anger. I hated myself more at this moment than any other. I needed something to clear my mind… or someone. I sighed at that thought as I turned on my car and put his address into my GPS. (LOOK INTO THIS IDEA MORE CAN BE TAKEN OUT IF DO NOT LIKE??) I’d regret this but, I needed something for release. All this build up is killing me.