_01/16/99_

Dear Diary,

It snowed today. I can't believe it snowed! It's never snowed here in my whole life. I mean I'm 22 and I've never seen snow fall from the sky before and it was so cool! I know it has to mean something, Jason thinks I'm crazy for sure, but it feels like a good omen. Y’know?

My neck kinda hurts, but its fine because its just from staring up at the clouds. Letting the snow fall on my face felt amazing, like a hundred tiny kisses. I couldn't even be mad when the school across the street’s bell rang and made me bite my tongue.

I just hope it snows again…

_02/01/99_

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Dear Diary,

My head hurts and I'm exhausted. I wish this ibuprofen would kick in already, all I can feel is my brain throbbing.

I miss the snow, I want to take a trip up the mountain. I called Jason earlier, from the corner store’s pay phone, and got him to make the 15th (my birthday!) and 16th available.

I need to start calling people from somewhere else thought because the phone speaker there has to be going out. It was like Jason was speaking underwater half the time.

02/16/99

Dear Diary,

Taking that trip was such a huge mistake. I was car sick the whole time and dizzy when we got there.

On top of that the snow was rock solid. I slipped and fell and hit my head hard. THEN I threw up everywhere. it was disgusting and totally embarrassing since Jason decided to make it a group thing and brought his biker buddies.

Luckily with how clogged my ears were from the pressure I could barely hear them laugh their asses off at me.

He dropped me off at home a couple of hours ago now but I still feel like I'm in the car and my ears still wont pop.

I can hardly hear the bells chime across the street though, so that's a plus.

02/17/99

Dear Diary,

I'm pregnant…Andrea and I took tests together she was late and I wasn't and I'm the one that's pregnant.

I should've known throwing up like I did is so unlike me.

Jason was less than thrilled. He already has a son, he can't take care of another kid.

I don't know what to do, or how to tell anyone else after that.

03/03/99

Dear Diary,

I got written up at work today. The ONE time I've ever been late in the year that I've worked at Auntie freaking Anne’s and they write me up?

Then I had to go buy a cheap ass alarm clock on the way home cuz the expensive one I got from Sears decided to break, but not break in the traditional sense, cuz that would just be too convenient.

The speakers are blown. It sounds like fly buzzing around my head instead of an alarm.

Then at work its like every customer has to whisper their order, like HELLO I can't hear you speak up!

Needless to say I've had a horrible day.

04/01/99

Dear Diary,

This feels like a sick joke. Like a nightmare. 2 days ago I woke up late for work, for the dozenth time, but it was completely silent. No sound from the alarm clock, opening cupboards, but it wasn't until I grabbed a coffee cup and sat it on the counter that I realized it. I can’t hear.

The doctors say sometimes this just happens. That your body can just fail.

But my ears?

I'll never hear my baby cry? Or laugh?

What if he wants to be in band or choir?