Do you want to be alone? Are you tired of couples holding hands and smooching every where you look? Well, look no further! These three simple rules will help you avoid love at all costs. Step 1. Go to the grocery store. Step 2. Borrow your mom and dads credit card. Step 3. Purchase food and drinks with their 401k and don’t leave your room- EVER.

Don’t worry! If your parents really miss you then they can fill out a questionnaire made by yours truly! Are your friends still knocking on your door? Bribe them with food and the questionnaire. I guarantee they will be sure to leave you alone!

This information is for entertainment purposes only unless of course you are you- then this is real life and you have duped yourself. Congratulations you are now in debt and have succeeded with a food coma.