It was nearly winter break by the time I’d caught up on all my missed work, and my grades were still terrible, my life still boring and lonely. Everything felt like it was going downhill.

One frozen Wednesday in December, I was sitting in my room, flipping through this pretty underground magazine, when I saw it: _The Paranoids_, an italicized heading along the mid-section of the paper.

My jaw fell away and I gasped, muttering aloud, “Holy fucking shit.”

My eyes began reading the half-a-page article so quickly that my brain could barely keep up. The gist of it was that they’d released an EP of four songs, self-titled, with some label I’d never heard of before.

I stumbled into the living room and dialed the phone number that was scrawled along the sticky-note that I still had.

Ana answered, “Hello, who’s this?”

“Ana! It’s me, Layne!” I hastily continued, before she could interrupt, “Guess what I just read in this magazine? Guess what?”

“Ooh, what?” I could hear her buzzing with excitement already.

“The Paranoids released an EP? Did you know that?”

“Well, of course I did!” She laughed. “There’s magazines about ‘em up north, too? Did you buy it? _Did you_!”

“No where around _here_ will sell it, but I’m gonna fuckin’ look, anyway. That’s so cool, man!”

“Isn’t it? Man, I dig that label, too.”

“Is Wyatt there? Can I talk to him?” I asked, picking at my cuticles anxiously.

“Sure, gimme a sec.”

I waited for a long minute, forever thankful that my parents were still at work.

Then, Wyatt’s voice: “Layne?”

“Hey!” My face broke out into a smile. “You’re a fuckin’ rockstar now! I saw you and the guys in a magazine!”

“_Really_? Have you listened to the EP yet? You’ll really love it, I think, you’re really gonna love it.”

“Not yet… I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to find it here, but I’m gonna _try_.”

“Cool, cool, that’s cool. You’re gonna love it, I know it.”

My heart was soaring, and I grinned wide. “I’ll find a way to listen to it, I promise.”

“Oh, that’s great, Layne.” Then: “Hey, you still got my leather jacket? I’ve been looking for it.”

“Yeah, sorry, I do…” I raked my mind for a way to see him… To give him his jacket back, of course.

“That’s alright. You can keep it, you know? One day, when I’m a big rockstar, you can try to give it back to me and I can pretend I don’t remember you.”

“Thanks, Wyatt.” I was still smiling like mad. I paused and hesitantly added, “I wish I could come back to Sovernon. But, you know, I can’t… Not yet, anyway.”

“Yeah, you’re pretty cool to hang out with. It’s a shame… Uh, hey, it’s my birthday soon, you know? December seventeenth.”

“Oh, happy birthday.” _He’s turning twenty_. “Wanna drive seven hours to see me one day?” I blurted the words out before any organs that produced thoughts could tell me not to. I don’t know why, I just did. And then, in the moment he said nothing, anxiety streaked through me fearfully.

“Oh, sure.” His candid response shocked me, for some reason. I guess I never expected anyone to waste seven hours driving to see me.

And suddenly, we made plans to see each other on January third, two days before the end of my winter break, and two days after the very first day of the new year.

As soon as he hung up, I called Speed urgently. It went to voicemail and I left a message: “Speed, listen, can you check both the record stores and see if you can find an EP for me? It’s called _The Paranoids_, and I really need it. I can pay you back if you can get it for me and bring it, please, Speed. Man, I really need it before January. Thanks, thank you so much. Call me back.”

After leaving a message, I nervously paced around the house with feverish anxiety. My mom would be home any minute and it felt like I’d broken some unspoken law, making plans and calling guys that had been indirectly forbidden by my parents. She would never know, yet I was scared out of my mind for no reason at all.

The sound of the front door swinging open made me jump, then my mom’s voice: “Hi, Elena- Oh, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I hastily replied. “Nothin’s wrong, Mom.”

“Really? You look a little pale… Are you sick?” My mother had, after releasing her terrified anger at me for leaving, become more worried and caring than ever. Not as overbearing as one would think, but clearly frightened as a mother, softened.

“No, no, I’m not sick.” I forced a smile, and half-lied, “I’m just stressed because of all this school work, you know? I wanna get as much done before break as possible, ‘cause I really don’t wanna get held back.”

She set down her purse and gave me a stiff, abnormal hug. “You’re too smart to get held back. You’ll be just fine.”

“Yeah, I’m sure I’ll be fine. Just a little worried, that’s all.”