When I was little, I used to lay outside and reach my hands up to the sky above, convinced I could touch the great moving clouds if I just extended a little further.

“You look crazy.” Severin would say to me as he witnesses me go too in my daydreams. He’s my older brother so of course its his duty to break me from my spells of momentary insanity.

Its not like I could actually touch the clouds.

I’d have to fly for that.

“Don’t the clouds look pretty? I wish I could touch them.” I said still looking up.

“They’re air. You’d do better if you looked at books rather than visible air.” Severin said looking down at me and pinching my cheek. “Liesel, come up. Lessons do not wait.”

I wasn’t able to see the clouds for a long time as rainy season had arrived. Where I live when the sun doesn’t come up its like there’s a grey filter all around bringing in extra sadness to the atmosphere. It makes lessons harder to listen to and it makes it hard to practice smiling.

Whats there to smile about when its so suffocating inside?

“Liesel, do not frown.” I stretch my lips but my eyes are downcast. Why should I learn the alphabet when the sky is crying? Can’t they hear it? They call it thunder but its really a cry for help. Maybe if I paid a visit up above I could console it.

“Liesel, eat your food.” During the rainy season we’d often have the mushiest most suspicious excuse of ‘food’ I’d ever witness. The only thing good about it was that it was warm so it combatted the cold the weather brought in.

“Look this is the color of the clouds right now.” Severin showed his bowl of grey matter.

“Clouds are white, dummy.”

“No, they aren’t when its rainy they are grey cause the clouds are sad.”

“Severin why are you speaking such nonsense to your sister.” Mother asked, glaring at him. She was always on the strict side.

“Ma, there’s a point to this.” Severin muttered to her before looking back at me. “You see the only way the clouds can turn white again is if you help it by eating all your mush, er I mean food and do well in your lessons.”

“Why would it get better if when I do that?”

“Cause its watching over you, Liesel.”

So I was sold. I diligently did my classes and was very obedient to my teacher. The technique I settled on to eat the mush was to not look at it as I ate. Visually its disgusting, tastefully its like nothing if you ignore the texture of slime. Focus on the warmth, Liesel for the clouds.

Severin was right when he said the clouds would return to white if I did all of that. He even offered to buy me a balloon which I would never refuse no matter how quickly they’d deflate.

“I’ll take the unicorn one.” Severin told the vendor.

The vendor handed it to me and I looked at it. “Nah, I want the puppy one.”

The vendor handed me the puppy one. It still didn’t feel right.

So I asked for the giraffe one.

The monkey one.

The one that’s supposed to look like a princess but its face looked like a flattened pancake.

It went on like this until my hands were filled with balloons.

“Liesel, you can only choose one and you better return the others to the vendor.”

“Hmm, I’ll take the cloud one then.”

The vendor sighed and passed me the cloud one. Finally this balloon felt right.

It felt so right, it was like I was flying above ground. My legs weren’t even touching the floor.

Each moment I was getting higher and higher until I was looking down at Severin and the vendor.

“Shit! I should have returned the others first before letting her choose the cloud one!”

“Sev I’m flying!” I happily told him below. He looked stressed.

“YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO! What should I do?” Severin asked the vendor. He pulled out a stick.

“Is that a gun?” Severin asked, blinking.

“Not the first time something like this happened. Kids are so light after the rainy soon. All that mush lowers their body weight.” The vendor pointed the stick at me.

“DON’T SHOOT MY SISTER!” Severin bellowed out.

I was so high up above, I didn’t notice the white clouds surrounding me. They were so soft yet so cold. My hands were shivering.

I almost let go of the one holding all the balloons if it weren’t for the cloud, holding them for me and bringing it back to my hands.

“Don’t let go little one.” The clouds whispered as they guided me lower.

People looked like such ants from above. Severin looked like Grandpa as I neared down below with all the wrinkles and look of utter distress on his face. He caught me softly and I let go of all the balloons from before.

They all flew towards to the sky. Hopefully they’d make great gifts for the clouds.

“You still have to pay for those.” The vendor reminded Severin.

This time he glared and I realized he is my mother’s son.