Maybe in another life you’ll look at me like I look at you.

I know I should forget you, but yet somehow, I can’t seem to.

With every passing 11:11 on the clock, or every spare eyelash that floats to the ground, I can’t seem to think of anything else. You are the only one on my mind.

Sometimes I say to myself, I’ll get over it. I’ll forget. I’ll move on. But no matter how much I say it, it never is true.

I still listen to all of the songs hoping they don’t remind me of everything or make me sad.

Sometimes I even make up alternate scenarios at night.

Maybe if I had confessed earlier. Maybe if I had stayed completely silent. Maybe if I had ignored my feelings on that very first day. Maybe if I’d just focused more on _anything_. My school work maybe. Maybe if I focused more on my school work I wouldn’t have those ninety eight percentage grades on papers I should’ve gotten a one hundred on.

But I still don’t think anything would have changed. I think maybe I was supposed to like you. I don’t know why but it just feels that way.

Part of me hopes I never see you again and I suppose that would help, maybe even be good for me so I can finally move on, but I don’t think I’m ready to forget yet.

I’ll just keep on replaying that year on late rainy nights when I can’t sleep, and I’ll just keep on thinking about what maybe could have been if I had done something, _anything_, differently.

((Listened to Sævïana and Reminds Me Of You by Benson Boone))