When no one is watching I drop the charade,

Home on my own — no need for parade.

Solitary time is how I fill my cup,

Board games and writing keeps energy up.

At work, always on — just one call away,

Small talk and faking my way through the day.

Nervous to dial but okay to type,

Before calls I’m needing to get myself hyped.

When no one is watching, I hope I do good.

Treating others the best that I could.

But I fear that instead I just don’t do bad,

Which isn’t the same, and that makes me sad.

I say that deep down I want to do better,

But my talk is cheap, full of hollowed out letters.

I make up excuses why I can’t give blood,

I think in my head that some people are duds.

I sometimes lack patience, or don’t show my love,

The way that I should to my little doves,

When I’m on my own I just want to rest,

The end of the day for me to decompress.

I don’t help with cleaning our beautiful house,

Taking advantage of my lovely spouse.

I convince myself that I have earned myself space,

To steal back the time that I’ve lost in the race.

Instead of the treadmill, I lay with feet up,

Drinking my fizzy drink cup after cup.

I binge mindless clips that I find on the tube,

I jerk off to porn without any lube.

When I’m on my own, I eat second dinner,

Then say to myself that I want to get thinner.

But I don’t, then it starts to impact my health,

When I’m on my own — do I like myself?