Closed off from feeling

Hurt too often to try

When abuse is all you’ve known

Peace feels suspicious

Anxiety and doubt loom like shadows

Closed off from feeling

Hope dims like a dying candle in the night

The scars of the past open and reopen

Salting the wound each time you try

But you can’t help but to

Closed off from feeling

You cling to that candle light

Like a moth to a lamp

Knowing, fearing that pain will return

Even when it defies all logic

For hurt is all you know

Closed off from feeling

You Sabotage every chance

Against your own will

Aware of what you do and why you do it

But unable to break the cycle

Setting the scene for the next wave of pain

Closed off from feeling

You cry yourself to sleep

You live inside your head too often

Reliving each scene in your dreams

Dreams become nightmares

Yet sleep is all you can do

Because reliving that brings a memory

A comfort of all you crave

Closed off from feeling

A lie you tell yourself

To try and make it easier to exist

To try and save yourself from more hurt

Yet you hold onto that dimming candle of hope

Because it’s the only way to achieve these needs

Claws scratch inside your head

Holding you prisoner to your thoughts

Forcing you to live in eternal lonliness

A ray of light shines through the darkness

Just enough to break the cycle

To pierce the forever night and bring dawn

A hope in realizing you’ve never

Closed off from feeling

That your feelings are what makes you strong

That this weight you bare would break others

You fight off the demons

You find love in those that have always loved you

A family not through blood

But love

And that ignites a flame in that little candle of hope

A fire brighter than the sun

You look to the future

To all the goods things to come

Monsters of doubt and hurt are all you’ve known

For far too long you’ve fought them off

But now you have the strength to do it

To shut the door tightly

Might the monsters come back