I'm attracted to her against my will. I wonder if it bothers me more that I'm an alien in a strange alternate dimension, or bisexual and in love with this girl who treats me like I'm an idiot.

Lexy's big, round eyes glitter black with envy as she cooly assesses my best friend.

"Nice dress."

She doesn't mean it. I can see it in the way that her lips, with their glittering gel-like gloss, twitch slightly at the left corner. Her dark eyebrows slightly raise in my direction. When she speaks her voice is a little too loud, and I realize my gaze has drifted to the way she fidgets with the strap of her own cornflower blue dress. She tugs it up her arm and fixes it carefully over her collarbones.

"Hey, Maddy. How are you?" she asks me.

She's too tall and it makes her look awkward, I scold myself. I even tell myself I'm prettier than her, even though I know it's a fair fight. None of my usual bullying is working- not even in my own head. Really, my head is just screaming, "She's a girl. She's a GIRL."

This has never happened to me before. And I want to be this nice, perfect, modern girl who knows how to flirt with other girls and make it loving and supportive and effortless

- but I feel like everyone knows a secret that they don't want to tell me.

"Good," I respond calmly, but I can feel my heartbeat pounding against my chest. Suddenly, I'm aware of my belly and my thighs and other parts of my body I try to forget exist when I'm in public like this. "Back from World 1."

She nods and glances around the room and then bites her lip, and gives me a look like we share some hidden knowledge. "How are things going there?" Her tone of voice is a little bored, but I know she really wants to be in the know. What's left of my mind after watching her bite her soft lips warns me that she's wise and I should choose my next words carefully.

My eyes flicker as I give her an up and down look, hoping it's enough to put her in her place.

"Good, everything is going really well the past month or so."

"Apollo is doing well, too?" She dares.

At the mention of my ex-boyfriend I flinch and take a step closer to her, and her perfume smells like daisies. With heels I can meet her eyes. I know mine are calm. She bites her lip again and it drives me mad how casually she can make me want her in a way that's not my normal.

"You know what? Can you just leave, Lex. I don't want to talk about it."

"Please. You used to talk about him all the time."

At this, my best friend Violet steps in and puts a gentle hand on my arm. My skin is flushed with anger and shame, and I can feel a buzz in the air, like at any moment I could say something I'll really regret.

"Lexy," Violet says sharply, curtailing the conversation. "Come smoke with me."

She steers us apart and takes charge, and something like relief washes over me- but also regret, like I could've said something and had some kind of moment with her, but it's slipped away.