She was present. Just enough. They couldn’t question where she was.

Maybe she was a **quarter** of what she used to be. But that was a normal, common, dream. We all had our parts we’d really rather not see. What fault was it of hers that she could hide hers so perfectly?

But mostly, no one noticed, or they’d make note just for themselves.

“Luna, wow, you’re looking great!”

“What’s your routine, Luny?”

“I _wish_ I could look half as good as you, Lulu!”

I wish I could look half as good as me too.

Their hungry eyes, their surface smiles, they all turn sour after a while…

Because I’m not quite there… not that I’m missing… but rather that I haven’t yet arrived where I’m needing…

And so I polish, I **wax**, I perfect. Others want to hide but that’s not enough for me. I need more. To be reborn. I need to be clean, all dirt gone, to be **new**.

And this is when the looks turn sour. They say I am wasting. Wasting what? My money, my potential, my hours? But I thought they were mine. And really I am saving, pushing, and savoring. Time is all I have. Wait is all I do. Results like these don’t just happen overnight.

And yet, overnight I feel my resolve **waning**. What can I do when they’re all watching and waiting. It’s fine, just a temporary setback. I’ll do as they say. I’ll be good. I’ll do and I’ll do and I’ll do til —

“At **last**,”

They’ll say,

“You’re getting some of your cheeks back.”

What business of theirs is it to look anyways? Don’t they have their own mirrors to face?

Next is the hardest — the push and the pull.

They’ll push and they’ll push.

I’ll pull but I’ll **wane**.

And at last, as they’ve wanted, I’m **full** once again.

Their eyes full of conquest they disguise as my pride. They’re happy that I’m no longer contest. No more control, no more image, they’ve put on display all that I’ve tried so hard to hide.

But that’s fine. Slowly I hide that I’m hiding again. I pretend that I show but I polish and clean. Soon I will be shiny me, smooth, sparkling, **waxed**. I’ll get to a quarter, work harder, clean, polish, wipe, wax. I’ll be new once again. I’ll be back.