I nearly fainted the first time I saw my roommate.

It wasn’t because he was a four-foot tall mix of veiny body parts with three mouths,

But because he was eating a person.

The Uber eats guy was presumably dead and didn’t move as the creature bit neat semicircles from his body, going through bone like paper as blood splashed onto the grass.

With every horrific mouthful I could see the poor guy being digested in a transparent belly that had teeth inside that were more precise, peeling off flesh before crunching the bones to nothing.

I had no idea if the monster could see me as it ate, growing rounder by the second.

When it finished both arms it began to slither backwards, towards the house.

Then it found a crack in the brick that even I couldn’t see and pushed itself through, the corpse also being forced through, leaving a puddle of crimson in the flowerbed and some scraps of flesh that had fallen off during the squeeze.

My first thought is to call the police, but I’ve just moved in so I call my landlord instead.

“Hello?”

“I’ve just… I’ve just seen…”

“You’ve just seen Franklin, I take it?” The landlord says.

“Franklin?”

“Yeah.” The landlord shuffles paper, I think. “Look, he’s been there as long as the house has and I can’t seem to get rid of him.”

“He ate someone!”

“Oh? Good.”

“Good?!” I almost scream.

“Franklin normally eats only one person a year, so he’s done it early this time. Look, he won’t hurt you. I don’t know where he gets the money from but he pays the rent on time, too. Just… but some mice from the pet store every now and then.”

“But, he’s a monster!”

“Maybe. But he doesn’t ever leave the walls and eats outside. Don’t try and get rid of him, it’s in the roommate agreement.”

The line goes dead and I wonder how long it will be before I am too.