I love everything about you, let me count the ways.

I made a list while following you today.

I love the sugar that you put on your toast.

Right before you go to retrieve the post.

The way you sing into your shampoo bottle.

And the way you smile at your stuffed axolotl.

The patience and kindness while you work.

At delivering drinks to crowds of jerks.

Every night you lock the door.

I follow you home, my dirty whore.

With me watching, you’ve nothing to fear.

Though I dread the day you find out I’m here.