I would’ve done anything to find a way out

To leave the sterile walls behind

Every song, poem, form of art has been written about

This is just another in the line

What is feels like to be inside of the rubix cube

Difficult and complex to figure out

All the growth intended hard ‘lessons’ make you rude

Fill you up with doubt

The constant let down

The formidable journey

All to make you earthbound

But it’s all for the story

The stagnancy of time wasted

The fear of never making it in time

Every motivational quote pasted

Every memory sour as a lime

When is the chapter one?

The spiritual awakening?

The transformation?

The god forsaking

What do I do in the midst of stagnancy?

To sit in the sterile room. No trophy for memory

What does one leave on? Some form of legacy

These prayers sounds like beggary

Why has no one mentioned the price of transformation

The hurdle, that one can tire of it all

Burnout beyond exhaustion

The chasm of this fall

I yearn for the step into the new chapter

Even for a inch

I yearn for moments of laughter

Someone give me a pinch

I want to know when it’s coming and if it’s real

I can’t tell anymore, my delusions confuse me

I want to try to let myself feel

Or is it a lie I told myself to keep busy

I don’t know if these visions are real or to delude me

My mind is no longer a safe place.

On the outside I come off as prudely

I can’t be the same in this case

The wait made me jaded

My memories have faded

My perspective is painted

I forgot what a saint is

The pain has been stated

They want to make me famous

I said I wouldn’t chase it

My dreams are now aimless

I can’t run or race it

The longer I jog, I hope it’s painless

The circles I go in this room

Year after year

A violet in full bloom

Tear after tear