a year ago i first felt this longing in my soul.

a longing for someone i can’t have.

for a life that is not mine to live.

here i am, same spot. same bench.

longing and loving and yearning for something that will never be mine.

did i think it would be different?

did i believe i wouldn’t be stuck in this same cycle of waiting for him to return to me, only to feel joy for a few short moments before he slips from my grasp and my lips in less than a month?

oh, what did i believe, i wonder.

i must’ve believed in happy endings.

oh what a shame.

shame on this foolish heart.

so for now, i’ll sit on this bench and wonder if in a year things will be different.

or if i’ll still be the same shell of a woman longing for a man who isn’t meant to be mine.