I was just trying to be what you wanted. An unsaid sentence I've had run through my brain a million times. The times I was on my knees in the dark at the time unbeknown to me someone watching. The times I was hiding the piece of metal I was once proud to wear. War changes people. This war you were or you weren't. I was a practiced Catholic in their eyes. But in my own I was still on my knees in the barracks evey night after everyone had fallen under the stars. Words coming out of my mouth in Yiddish. Nothing anyone would understand. I was wrong. It felt wrong. Such a 'practiced Catholic' trying to be what they required. I wasn't a Catholic. No it was wrong to deny my real self. I didn't know that someone understood until I met the light blue eyes one night when I looked up. At first fear filled my body. I could see my grave. But to my hearts relief, it was another like me.. A practiced Catholic during the morning. But unlike me. An Atheist under the cover of the stars..

A Catholic was required. Money was needed. A soldier was made. This was how the army brought you in. Promising a worthy death or legacy. But having two seemingly 'simple' conditions. To always serve the Royal family over the people, and to be a Catholic devotee. Most didn't have a problem. But as neither of us knew better. We were young and foolish. We knew not of the consequences. Only knew that together we were different. But could we ever make an agreement? Same on one level but changed on another. Different people. Different mindsets.