Ella’s voice crackled over the phone. “And, John, please- when you get a chance- look over the papers.”

John’s voice dropped as he looked up and down the hallway, instinctively making sure no one else had heard even though her voice was confined to his ear. “I know, I’m sorry, I meant to look at them, it’s just… work.” A pause on the other end of the line. He could hear the stifled sigh.

“I get it.” Her voice returned, imbued with false positivity. “Just, when you get a chance.”

“I will.” Absentmindedly, he flexed his left hand, feeling the weight of the gold ring on his finger. It felt heavier, lately.

“Okay, bye.” Ella ended the conversation. He would’ve chuckled at her curtness had it not been so devastating.

Taking the hint, he responded. “Okay, bye,” And before be could stop them, the words slipped out: “Love you.”

Frozen, unable to hang up the phone or formulate a coherent thought, John stood in silence.

“John-“ Her all-too-familiar ‘disappointed voice.’

“I’m sorry.” He put a hand over his face, kneading at his temples. “It just slipped out. Obviously, I don’t- I mean, I do, but you… you know. Sorry.” Confident he could say nothing more idiotic than what had already come out of his mouth, he stopped.

“It’s fine.” It wasn’t, but what else could she say? “I’ll, um, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

He nodded even though she couldn’t see it. “Okay, bye.”

A ‘click’ and the call was finished. John stood with the phone still in his hand for a number of seconds afterwards, thinking and not thinking at the same time. How easily those three words had rolled off his tongue, how many times they had done so before without incident. When had things changed?

With a resigned sigh, he opened the nearest of his desk drawers and slid out the stack of papers he’d been not-so-subtly ignoring for weeks. Almost imperceptibly shaking, he slipped the wedding band off of his left hand, set it on the desk in front of him, and picked up a pen.