I stare at the coffin blankly, watching with but a hint of sadness as it is lowered into the ground.

I know they are gone.

Do I realize it?

Not yet

I slowly, as in a trance, up to the coffin. People stand aside, glancing at me with looks of understanding and sympathy. It all seems to blur. As though in a fairground Wonky Mirrors room, the people ripple and curve in ridculous waves. They all seem to swoop outwards then back in, as though i am in a circle of people, curving around me.

The world muffles. I can hear but a single murmuring in the crowd, clouded as though I am underwater.

I reach the coffin.

I look in.

Their eyes are closed. Their demanour is relaxed. It is as though they are asleep.

But still, the truth hits me, and I realize,

They’re gone. __ __ How will my life ever be the same?

I gently place the rose on their chest. Turning and trying not run, I slowly make my way back to my spot.

The coffin is shoveled over. They are buried.

I will never see them again.

My eyes water and my throat burns. The people blurr and become indistinguishable, but I cannot cry in front of them all.

Under pretence of tying my shoelace, i bend down to let the tears flow, trying not to remember them.

The past still comes.

As I futilely end up reliving all of the memories i have with them, one question poses at the front of my mind.

Why?