When you hear the phrase "I live in my van" what do you picture? I'm sure you picture a beat down vehicle with a cracked windshield that filled to the brim with clothes, trash, and backpacks. Society has taught us that being homeless means you're a bum on the street with a sign asking for money. That's not what homelessness is like for me though. I make every destination my home.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of birds chirping outside of my window. Today I get to wake up the beauty of God's creations since I decided to park my van in a campsite last night. When you live on the road, sometimes you're not sure what you'll wake up to. It could be the smell of a dumpster next to a Love's rest stop or the sun rays bouncing off the reflection of the lake water. Today it just so happens to me the lake water.

I take a second to stand outside and breathe in the smell of the morning around me. I know I'm blessed to be able to make living doing what I do but it makes it hard to find moments like this to enjoy. Being an influencer means that my life is focused on giving others the space to judge me for how I live. I could easily shut down this way of life and go back to apartment living with a 9-5 but getting the freedom I do to express myself and be where I want when I want is worth the judgement.

I make my way to the bathroom area on the campsite grounds and prop up my phone to start my first video of the day. It's crazy what a simple video of you getting ready in a public bathroom can do for your views on these social platforms. The majority of people go out of their way to point out the flaws in your routine, but I look forward to the ones who show their love and support. It makes the quiet times in my life feel less lonely.

I usually like to wipe down the area with disinfectant wipes before I do anything else because you really never know who and what has touched these surfaces. I even wipe down the dirty mirror so I can really see myself clearly. Most days I feel robotic and repetitive, making sure I get every move correct so I can dance for the crowd in this circus of life. I must get every little step correct. I must wipe down every inch and video every moment of my routine, every breath, every blink. All so I can make the money to live the way I do.

After posting my morning video, I take a second to scroll back to last night's video of me getting ready for bed and setting up my van for nighttime. I inspect every second of the video, studying the way I unroll the paper-thin mattress to the way I cover the windows up from the inside of the van. I make tiny living look so easy, but little do people know that it's the battle within that's the hardest part. I have the cute van without any back seats so I can make room for a bed and storage containers full of clothes. I have the views, the money, the technology, and the advantage of going anywhere I want.

Wanna know what I don't haven though?

I don't have a home.

I have an audience.