Sunday
Wasting the day on my couch
Daughter and dog beside me
Doing much of nothing.
I should give myself grace.
I am deserving of rest.
Does productivity equal success?
Successful at what?
Successful at life?
Successful at mothering?
Am I failing?
It’s fine.
I’ll do what I want.
I always do.
My hair is a mess
I don’t have anything to wear.
I don’t want to wash my face
I don’t want to apply makeup.
I should go.
I should start a workout routine.
I should clean.
I should organize.
So many things; it paralyzes me.
Social media posts render me lazy and inept.
Deceiving, one dimensional.
Inaccurate representations of the truth.
Finally, a discovery worth the scroll
A post by an old childhood acquaintance
It read:
“ ….people see your trauma response to their bad behavior as your personality.”
A clever understanding of how we are perceived by others.
So simple yet so eye opening.
Thank you old acquaintance.
Here I go
I will live for today
Live in this moment
Be true to myself
Not reactive
Living today intentionally