Hey! I’m Evie

Socialising is very hard for me, as you can agree. Being an introvert to me is when silent arms are buzzing in your head and your words get jammed in your throat when you are in front of a large crowd. I’ve never been good at it and probably never will - ‘express yourself’ they say but I can’t even talk to new people because of _social anxiety_. For some reason, I let it rule my life - one day it will take over my mind and thoughts and maybe the day has already came.

Social anxiety affects me in _sooo _many ways whether it’s going out with my friends (I don’t have many), doing a presentation in front of the class or going in public in general. However, one thing I _hate _is parties. Everyone screaming getting drunk, crazy and insane and I’m sat in a quiet corner trying to read my book. People can call me ‘_nerd’ _or ‘_geek’ _or _‘weirdo’_ but it doesn’t bother me anymore. I’m used to it unfortunately. Just because I am ‘_different’._ I wish I could be honest how this impacts me but I don’t have the energy for it.

I hate it when I get called on in class: burning cheeks, head about to explode, millions of things going round in my head, playing with my hands and shaking my leg. There’s only one category this fits into: anxiety. It will ruin my life forever.

Another disadvantage of this is not being to open up. You feel as if you are a burden on people because “_what if they are also struggling?”_ it’s such a simple question which _us _kids understand.

**flo **🤍** is texting…**

Florence is my best friend - she’s the complete opposite of me but somehow we get along. She is such an extrovert and loves musical theatre. She’ll always hums a tune in class and isn’t afraid of anything or anyone - I _wish _I was like her.

“_PING!”_ my phone beeps. It’s Flo:

**flo **🤍**: **heyyy! do u wanna go to the shopping centre in town?

**me:** ofc!! when??

**flo **🤍**: **saturday, 1pm with sadie. meet me there x

**me: kk! see u then x**

Sadie is my close friend. She’s pretty similar to me but she does enjoy the limelight sometimes but I don’t blame her. It’ll be nice to meet up because I haven’t seen them in a while - it’s half-term so it’s a nice surprise! I’m very excited!!

**Saturday: 1pm, shopping centre**

“Hello everyone! It’s so nice to see you!!” I greet them with a huge smile on my face and a hug. “It’s so nice to see you too!” replies Florence. “Well, what are we waiting for!!” Let’s go inside!!” “Of course!! Let’s do this!” Sadie replies.

The shopping centre was busting with visitors - absolutely packed. The shiny floorboards lit up the room with magical fairy lights to give a more comforting and welcoming appearance - _it totally did_ and made me feel magical like I was in Disneyland. However, my problem was the people. There were families upon families right in my way and I had to dodge them. The more shopping we did, the more drained I felt. It’s like the visits have slapped me in the face without even saying a word and has mucked up with my on & off switch of battery. It’s like turning a light switch within a few hours. Some people enjoy the noise but I don’t. I feel bad if I go, I feel somehow weak but I’m not sure how much longer I can tolerate this. I just want to go home.

“Guys I’ve had such a good time but I’m getting _really _tired very quickly so I can just sit in the car and wait while you two shop till midnight but I must go before things progress. “Yeah, that’s okay! If you’re happy to do that of course!” replied Florence. Sadie nodded her head to agree with an angst look on her face. I’ve not known her for long so she doesn’t really know what I’m like. “It’s nothing to worry about - just overstimulation to the point my brain is flooded with sounds which won’t go unless _I go. _I slowly make my way to the car and close the door.

“Finally, I’m home!” I tell myself. Just as I relax with a biscuit in bed, my phone beeps.

**sadie **🤍**: **hey! hope you’re okay? do u wanna go to the cafe for a bit with me and maisie? jw x

**me: **ofc! yeah i’m good ty! just needed to recharge & ready to go!

**sadie **🤍**: **perfect! meet at 5:45pm x

Maisie is her crush and we all know it - she wants to ask her out but she hasn’t decided when and how she’s going to do it. She’s bi and so is Maisie. I love seeing them together! They’re so cute! Both with dark, ginger hair and freckles with Maisie’s blue eyes and Sadie’s green eyes. They look so angelic - I hope they become models!

**Café, 5:45pm**

“Hello!!” I whisper. “Hey!” Maisie replies. “Not seem you in _agesss!_ I’ve missed you.” “Aww, I’ve missed you too, I say giving her a small hug. Sadie is very shy around her so she just stands and blushes playing with her curls. “Let’s get a seat.” I announce (code for: This is getting awkward. Please can we sit down somewhere so I don’t feel like a million faces are watching me). We all sit down looking as shy as ever and talk a little. I wish they would talk more because I _loveee _seeing them get to know eachother more - it’s adorable! “Where’s Flo?” I ask “Oh she’s tired - she wants to rest. I think it’s all the shopping - it’s warn her out.” “It’s probably all that money she’s spent 🤭” laughs Maisie. “Probably! Haha!” I agree. I feel very calm when it’s just a small group in a quiet area. I hate it when so many people are squished in a small area. The place becomes overcrowded and scary. We sit there for hours chatting until it’s time to go home.

I arrive home safely as I get into clean pj’s with freshly washed hair and a grin on my face. I’ve just received the _best news ever_. Sadie has _officially _asked Maisie out and guess what…

**SHE SAID YES!!** they are officially dating!! I’m more excited than them to be honest - they’ve liked eachother for almost a year. So glad Sadie was honest, open and genuine. I love them both!!

I don’t hear much from Florence that afternoon but I’m sure I’ll hear from her tomorrow. I’m getting tired so I don’t text her now. I yawn loudly and then realise it’s time for bed.

**10pm - bedtime**

Goodnight! 💤🫶🏼