If only this world had shown me a little more mercy, maybe I would still have a home.

If only this world had been there for me when my mother wasn’t, when my dad left. If only this world had even cared.

But this world doesn’t care. This world mocks, this world ignores, this world breaks and tears down and hurts you more than you knew you could be hurt.

When I was younger, I used to wonder why God made the world this broken, this fragmented, this horrible. But now I just accept it as part of life. Because no matter what people do, they cannot change the evil of this world. No matter what you do, you cannot fix this world, cannot patch up the cracks made by people who don’t care.

I never cared, but not for the reasons you think. Well, I guess used to care, back when I had a family. But then they stopped loving me.

I remember sitting crying in my bed, wondering how my own mother could yell at or ignore me, how my father could just leave like that. I never fully understood it back then.

I remember my first fight at school, I was bitter about my mom yelling at me that morning, and someone had stolen my lunch money. I remember the principal called my parents, but they never came to pick me up.

I remember trying to make my mom love me, doing everything I could to brighten up her day a little, but all she would do is sit and cry over finances. Probably why we lost the house.

I was so excited to leave for college when I turned eighteen. But the university wasn’t any better. Filled with stupid people who laugh at you when you get the complete wrong answer in class, or try not talking, or trip and spill your lunch over the math teacher.

So I dropped out. I made my tiny run down Hyundai Elantra my new home.

I wasn’t happy. I never was. But I’d take this over my childhood any day.

If only this world had shown me a little more mercy, maybe I would have led a different life. Maybe I would be a better person. Maybe I would have even met someone and settled down somewhere nice.

But in a world with no mercy, what can I really do?